A Tribute to Grandma Bower

Grandma Bower was the best Grandma in the world. As He did with Mom, God knew exactly the type of Grandma I needed and I was blessed to have her in my life for 16 years. She played all kinds of games with us, took us to the park, took us on walks, laughed at our ridiculous antics, ate Spaghettios with us and the white cherries she canned every year from the tree in her yard, baked the best molasses, chocolate chip, and sugar cookies, listened to us read, called me out when I exaggerated stories, and told me that I "made her tired" on more than one occasion. That usually meant that whatever I was doing needed to end pretty quickly.
We picked her up for church every Sunday and I used to sit in the service and poke at her spidery veins that stuck out on her hands and wrist. I have no idea why she allowed me to do such a thing, but she did, and so I took advantage of that. After church, she came home with us for Sunday dinner, spent the afternoon with us cleaning up after dinner, playing games, and then we took her back home after church on Sunday night. She made the best desserts to share with us at those dinners. She used to make a white or yellow cake with chocolate frosting. If you were careful, you could peel the frosting off the cake and have two desserts. The frosting was almost like fudge and usually came off in one piece. It was good!

One time when Mom was working on her masters degree in education, Val and I were supposed to walk to Grandma's house after school. I was in kindergarten and Val was in third grade. It just so happened that it rained that day which obviously meant we should stomp in every mud puddle we could find between the school and Grandma's house. There were a lot of mud puddles and sometimes we were required to cross the street so we could stomp in some of the ones over there. We were soaked to the skin by the time we got to Grandma's house. I don't remember her being too mad about it though. If she was, she didn't show it. She had these cool robes that she made out of bath towels that she made us put on while she washed and dried our clothes.

Grandma had to say "I'm going to tell your Mother just how you act." to us a lot! Sometimes this made us straighten up but most of the time it didn't do much to curtail our behavior because we would beg her not to tell so she wouldn't. I have no idea why she didn't. I certainly would have if I had been her.

As I got older, things got harder for Grandma. She had Parkinson's Disease and she came to live with us for awhile. That was the best time! She was there when we got home from school and would encourage us to get our homework done before Mom got home from school. I'm sure we were compliant. Eventually, she needed more care and ended up in a nursing home. The day she left made me sad. I missed her being at our house. I would ride my bike over to see her on Saturdays. One day, I was going to go see her but Mom said she was going to go later that day so I made plans to go with Mom and I rode over to my friend's house instead. As I was nearing home, I realized my uncle's car was in the driveway and somehow I knew Grandma was gone. I fooled around outside for awhile before I had the courage to go inside and hear the news that I dreaded.

I was 16 when she died and I've often wondered what it would have been like to have had her around when I was older. She was a wise woman of faith. Hers was a deep and abiding, quiet faith, the depths of which can only be taught through the hard trials of life. She lost a baby to premature birth before Mom was born. She carefully recorded in her Bible, that Harlan was a blue baby and lived for eight days before he died. Mom said she always heard the adults refer to blue babies, which meant immature lungs.


Back then, you stayed in bed for a long time after having a baby, so Grandma was unable to go to Harlan's funeral. I remember the first time Mom told me that. It made my heart ache for Grandma, but it wasn't until I had my own children that a began to understand how truly awful it would be not to be able to attend your child's funeral.


Mom recalled going to the cemetery with Grandma who always knew where to find the tiny marker from the funeral home because they didn't have the money to purchase a headstone. Mom said she always wondered how Grandma knew where the grave was since it was flush to the ground and there weren't really any other markers around then. Today, there is a large maple tree nearby, but that wasn't there 85 years ago.


Later, Grandma's oldest son, Richard died from head injuries he sustained in a motor scooter accident when he was 19 years old. Mom was married by then, but Uncle Bob and Uncle Harold were in high school and still at home when Richard died. In fact, they had gone to the new municipal swimming pool in Delta that day, and my paternal Grandmother drove up there to get them and tell them what happened. It was a very dark time for the family as is understandable.


A few years after that, Grandpa died from complications of a stroke. I was about four when he died, so I don't remember a lot about him. He loved gardening and had prize rose bushes. His rhubarb plants have been transplanted, thinned out, and relocated many times over the years and bring our family great joy. There's nothing like Mom's rhubarb pie, upside down cake, or Dad's rhubarb sauce made from Grandpa Bower's old rhubarb plants. He played trombone and was an ametuer musician. He taught Mom to play and instilled a love for music in her life. I am sure I heard him play when I was a kid, but unfortunately, I don't remember it and have often wished I could hear him play.

Grandma knew loss. Immense loss. The type that drives you to your knees in agony and sorrow, while you desperately seek solace from the only One who understands and can offer His peace that transcends our understanding. She knew great heartache and pain. But she also knew the Lord was with her in those dark days of grief and missing those people she loved. Grandma was not bitter because she knew the comfort of the Savior who loved her with an everlasting love. I miss her greatly and look forward to reuniting with her in heaven someday.

I wrote this poem about Grandma about three months after she died. I kept it a secret until I needed a poem for an English assignment and didn't feel like writing one, so I turned it in for a grade. Then, I returned it to its secret place where I would get it out and read it during the times when I missed Grandma the most. Eventually, I showed it to Mom several years later. Though everything in this poem is accurate, I'm not sure it's how I would write about her today, but when I was 16 and her loss was heavy, this was my heart poured out on paper.

"A Tribute to Grandma"
(for Dorothy Louise Bower)
I looked at you with tears in my eyes
and wondered silently why you died.
I knew you were old
your health was failing
but you were my Grandma
who would always be there
to wipe away my tears
and chase away my fears.
I couldn't believe it was you laying there
and as I cried, I continued to stare
at the person who was my Grandma.
Who a few days before and been so full of life
in spite of all the pain and strife
you dealt with in the past few months.
You said you wouldn't always be near
and not to approach death with fear,
but rather as an extension of life.
The past few months have been really hard
my thoughts always focus on you
and though we didn't say it often,
I hope you knew it's true:
you were one of the biggest
influences in my life
and Grandma, I'll always love you.
-Teresa Bloomer
November 1983

A Second Honeymoon (to my wife)

I was out upon the ocean

on those waters deep and wide

watching pretty pearly ripples

as they seemed to pass me by.

I was sitting there reflecting

on the mystery of the sea

above bright stars were shining

to complete the lovely scene.

Close beside me sat my sweetheart

in my arms I held her tight

‘tis a rendezvous we’re keeping

for all those years of wedded life.

Her hair has turned to silver

like the silver of the sea

her voice is more melodious

as she softly speaks to me.

Soon this life will be completed

and in heaven we will be

we will always be just sweethearts

in that realm beyond the sea.

-Gordon Bower

October 01, 1961

A Prayer Acrostic

                                     Pray without ceasing, press on towards the goal
                                 in Reverence to God, He cares for your soul 

             Believe he will Answer the desires of your heart
                                     Yearn to be closer, never to part
                                     Expect Him to answer your prayers in His time
                              and Rest in Him always, He grants peace sublime.


- T. Deffely 
01 February 2010